Sabotage
by purplepagoda
Summary: Will one night with Casey sabotage everything that Jane has tried to be her entire life? I am thinking about leaving this as a one-shot cliffhanger. Let me know what you think.
1. Sick

It has been weeks since Casey has deployed. Jane has all but shut down. She continues on with her daily routine, and waits by the phone each night, like a basket case, wondering if he's ok. She's uncharacteristically quiet this morning, as she jogs alongside Maura. Maura looks over at her. In a single instant she can see how preoccupied Jane is.

"Jane, are you ok?"

Jane doesn't answer.

"Jane, did you hear me?"

"Yeah," she nods, "I heard you."

"Are you going to answer?"

"No."

"No, you're not going to answer?"

"No, I'm not ok."

"Jane Casey is coming back."

"You saying that doesn't change anything It doesn't make me worry any less, that he's not."

"Jane maybe it would help if you could talk about it."

"There is nothing to talk about."

"You can't just shut down, because he isn't here right now. He is coming back to you, he promised you that."

"What if he comes back in a box?"

"What is with the attitude?"

"He is half a world away," Jane points out.

Maura doesn't point out the inaccuracy of her statement, "Jane you can't put your whole life on hold."

"I don't want to talk about this."

"Are you afraid that he won't come back?"

"I just said that I am."

"I think that you are more afraid that he will."

She ignores Maura's remark.

"You are afraid what will happen when he comes back, aren't you?"

"Why would I be afraid of that?" her nostrils flare.

"I don't know. I could make a supposition, but..."

Jane cuts her off, "No. I don't want to talk about this anymore."

"Are you afraid that it won't work if he's here, and there is no distance to keep the two of you apart?"

"Maura you don't know what you're talking about."

"Or, are you afraid that it will? Are you afraid that you will end up married, with kids, and you won't be able to be a full time superhero anymore?"

Jane stops dead in her tracks. She turns, and heads the other direction, in a full sprint. Maura chases after her. She only catches up to her, when she reaches the car. Jane has the car on, and is ready to put it into gear when Maura climbs in. The car jerks forward, before Maura can put her seatbelt on.

"We are not done with this conversation," Maura warns.

"Do you want to jog to work?"

"What is your problem?"

"I told you that I don't want to talk about it, and you just keep pushing."

"Excuse me? I say that, and you do it anyway. How is this any different?"

"Because I _really_ don't want to talk about it."

"You can't shut everyone out all of the time."

"Whatever," she rolls her eyes.

* * *

After lunch Frost waits for Jane to return from the ladies room. He sends Korsak ahead, without them. After fifteen minutes Frost makes his way to the ladies bathroom. He stands outside the entrance, with his back to it.

"Jane, are you in there?"

"Go away," she tells him.

"Are you coming, or not?"

"Not," she responds, "Go without me."

"What is your problem today?"

"Why won't everyone just leave me alone?

He turns and faces the door. He pulls it open just a crack.

"Is there anyone else in there?" he calls into the three stalled ladies room.

"Frost do not come in here."

"Jane I am begging you to come out. I don't want to come in there. Please just come out."

"I am not coming out."

"Now, or ever?"

"Ever."

"Come on we have a case."

"I can't."

"Why not?" he hollers into the bathroom.

He elicits no response. He exhales, in frustration, and pulls the door open. He takes a single step inside.

"Are you decent?" he questions.

"There are stall doors," she reminds him.

He takes two more steps inside the bathroom.

"Jane why are you hiding in here?"

"Who said that I am hiding?"

"You've been in here for twenty minutes now. You don't take that much time to get ready in the morning."

"Good point."

He stops in front of the middle stall door. It is the only one that is closed. He gently knocks on the door with his knuckles.

"Jane will you please come out here?"

He hears the door unlock. He steps back, and she pulls it open. She steps out of the stall, and looks at him. He stares at her in confusion.

"What's wrong?"

"Everything."

"Jane is the reason you keep coming in here today, to hide?"

"No."

"Have you been crying?"

"No," she lies.

"Why have you been crying."

"I haven't."

"Jane I'm your partner just tell me what is going on."

"I haven't been coming in here to hide."

"Then why have you been in here so many times today? Did you eat ex-lax for dinner?"

She shakes her head.

"Then what? What is going on?"

"I've been sabotaged."


	2. Uncertainty

"You've been sabotaged? So, what, you keep coming in here to reboot, or what?"

She shakes her head, "No."

"Jane just tell me what is going on. Why are you in here crying?"

"Just forget it," she insists, "We should go. Or at the very least, you should."

A light bulb goes off in his head, "Jane is there something you want to tell me?"

"I don't want to tell anyone anything."

"I am your partner. I should know if there is something going on," he reminds her.

"There is, but I don't want to talk about it."

"Too bad. What do you mean, you've been sabotaged?"

"I can't do this," she tells him.

He places his hand on her shoulder, in reassurance, "You can do anything."

"No, I can't. I can't do this. I don't want to do this."

"Jane it's not the end of the world."

"You don't understand."

"Then explain it to me."

"Casey is half a world away, in a foreign country."

"So?"

"I don't know how to make that work."

"What do you mean?"

"What if he doesn't come home?"

"Why do you always have to consider the very worst possibility? Why can't you ever consider the good that might happen?"

"I'm scared," she admits.

"You should tell him."

"I am not telling him while he's there. I am not telling anyone."

"Why not?"

"Because I don't want to do this."

"You say that now."

"I have always said that. I don't want to do this. I have never wanted this, and I never will."

"Feelings change."

"Mine don't. Frost I have worked my entire adult life to be where I am now. I have given everything to the job. This is a roadblock. It changes everything. I don't want anything to change. I don't want to be my mother."

"Where you are now? Single, living alone, in the same apartment that you have had for at least the past five years. That is where you want to be, for the rest of your life?"

"When you put it like that it sounds stupid."

"I am not saying that," Frost insists.

"What are you saying?"

"I am saying that you are being unreasonable."

"Maybe I am, please don't tell anyone about this."

"I won't, are you done ralphing, now?"

"Yeah."

"Are you sure?"

"I think you should be able to deal with it. I have been dealing with your weak stomach for years."

"That's fair."

"Please don't tell Maura."

"I won't. My lips are sealed."

"Because you know she can't lie. If she finds out she'll tell my mother."

"And your mother is the enemy?"

"I just don't want her to know."

"So what are you going to do?"

She shrugs, "I don't know yet."

"Have you been to the doctor yet?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because I am total denial."

"Jane you have to go."

"If I go then it makes it real."

"Jane it is real. You are never sick. I have never once seen you get sick, no matter how gruesome, or gnarly the crime scene. I have never seen you come down with the stomach flu, no matter how sick the rest of us get. You are going to have to do something to control the puking, because Maura is observant to. She will know that something is up."

"She hasn't figured it out yet."

"That doesn't mean that she won't."

"I wish that I could come up with something to control the puking, that would make my life much easier."

"I might have a couple tricks up my sleeve."

"Then why don't you use them on yourself?"

"They have to be used before it starts. I never know when a crime scene is going to turn my stomach."

"I hate to break this to you, but morning sickness is not a fairy tale. The name is completely deceptive. It doesn't just happen in the morning. It lasts all frickin day. I puke pretty much non-stop. The last thing that I do before I go to bed at night, is puke."

"That's when you should try this stuff."

"I'll pass."

He looks her in the eye. He furrows his brow.

"What?"

"You've ruptured a blood vessel in your eye."

"Awesome there is no way that Maura will miss that."

"Wear an eye patch."

"Wear an eye patch? That is your solution? Maura will not notice an eye patch, at all."

"Lie to her and tell her that you have conjunctivitis."

"Why? Then she will want to look at my eye."

"Tell her that is being treated. Remind her that it highly contagious. She won't want to touch it."

"They make gloves."

"You have to do something," he points out.

"Will you wear one too?"

"I don't have a ruptured blood vessel why would I wear one?"

She smirks, "It's highly contagious. I am around you more than anyone else."

"No."

"Please," she begs.

"No," he shakes his head.

"Then the next several months of your life are going to be living hell."

"Jane, I have a feeling that they already will be."


End file.
